Arrive in Florida

So we FINALLY made it to Florida (August 3, 2009)! The funny part is here the sign welcomes us to the sunshine state, except it rained all the way into Orlando. Didn't stop us from taking the photo shoot except you will note Lou is a little concerned about her hair. Dad, on the other hand, stayed in the car with the pets.

For the first week we stayed in a La Quinta hotel right next door to Francis' work. I am sure this will be the one and only time we will be able to walk to work. The girls and I amused ourselves with the pool and exploring/foraging for food and bringing Dad lunch. We took the cat to the apartment right away so the poor guy could get out of his kennel. We kept him in the kennel the whole trip for fear he would escape and we would not be able to track him. He is quite the scaredy cat, as many of you know, and we figured the first chance he would have he would dart to the deepest, darkest, part of some unknown space to hide. When we released him into the apartment, he hissed at us and cowered in the kennel for a bit before he darted out. There wasn't a bit of furniture or boxes to hid between or under, so he just slinked along the carpet against the wall. I felt so bad for him. We figured he would prefer to be here in the empty apartment so he could scout out the place before the movers arrived. /div>

We unloaded our Penske truck late on Thursday afternoon (8/6). Luther was thankful for all the hiding places the boxes provided. It had to be the hottest most humid day we had experienced so far. But God had blessings in store. While we are struggling (without a handtruck) to unload our goodies, we noticed a couple of strong young men doing some videotaping in the parking lot. We offered a few bucks for their help and they accepted. Minutes later another young man came out and offered his back and arms. After an hour or so, the truck was unloaded and we had met some very nice Christian men attending a local film school here. They gave us some suggestions for churches in the area and we offered up our very shy girls for their use as "extras"! It was nice to finish so much earlier than we had expected and to get to know a few of our neighbors.

The official movers arrived on Saturday August 8th. Francis stayed at the apartment to oversee the movers and I am really glad I wasn't there. Apparently the long haul truck couldn't make the sharp turns necessary to get to our apartment. The truck had to park at a back gate and the movers (just a man and his wife) had to carry everything through this back gate and through the parking lots to our apartment...I would guess about a football field length or so in the Florida heat and humidity! Ugh.

On Sunday we decided the girls had put up with enough. No toys, no place to play, long rides in the car, boring trips to banks, and sitting patiently through contract signing etc. We took the day off and headed to the beach! It was a short 2 hour drive, but we heard the dreaded "are we there yet" a thousand times! It was a great relaxing day as you can see.

Here is Francis helping Lydia. Ruth is already in the water.

Ruth with her first seashell collection.

Lydia buried her feet in the sand.

Heading into the water...we are at Madeira Beach outside of St. Petersburg.

Here is Grace with her "no bucket, no shovel" sand castle.

And MOST OF ALL...

Florida catch up

We are finally in Florida and are settling into our apartment. We have had quiet the adventure so far and are looking forward to so much more. We are so blessed to have this time to explore!

But lets go all the way back to the moving part: In the girls words, "it was long and B-word" (we don't use the word boring in our house -- HA) Here they are amusing themselves while Francis and I load the Penske truck from our storage shed.

The packers came on July 27 and packed the whole house. This move was especially chaotic though because of the three way split. Some of our goods were being packed and shipped to storage in Cedar Rapids, a part of our goods were being packed and loaded onto a Penske truck we would drive and part of our "stuff" was being packed and moved professionally to Florida. The packers were a little confused at this 3-way but got the hang of it quickly. So far we have discovered only one item that went to storage (we hope) instead of making it to Florida.

On Tuesday July 28th the trucks were supposed to come. The truck for the local move broke down on the way (yikes!) and eventually arrived at 11ish. The long-haul truck was stuck in Northern Iowa finishing a different move (yikes!) but eventually arrived shortly after lunch. The crew for the local move was FANTASTIC! We can't say enough about them. It was a herd of young men; all Christians and three were homeschool graduates! I have always said God has had his hand on this move and here he was again! With God's help and these great young men, the local move and long haul move was complete by 7ish.

We were staying at the Marriott during this time and the girls were living the "high-life" each night with their favorite babysitters taking them to the pool and then dining on room service. We have been blessed by Eryn and Emily who have cared for our children for over 5 years. Here they are with the girls.

It has been our honor and privilege to watch these two ladies grow. They are no longer "babysitters" for they have become a part of our lives and a part of our family.

On Wed. Francis and I started loading the Penske truck that we were taking to Florida. Since this was a temporary move, weight was an issue on the long-haul truck. To keep the weight down, we moved all the boxed goods, while the long hauler took the furniture. SO we loaded and cleaned the house on Wed. and Thursday. Friday morning the house closed and we were no longer owners.


I don't think the girls really had any issues saying goodbye to the house, but Francis and I were heartbroken. Gone was the house we had brought our babies too, gone was the house we had worked so hard on, and gone was the certainty that that house provided; the "known" was over.

On God we rely.

Removing the "Junk"

We spent this last weekend moving "stuff" out of the house into storage. Apparently the Realtor calls this staging the house. Basically we have boxed up half of our house/junk and moved it to storage to make our house look bigger. I have been wondering if maybe we could just move and "forget" to take it. Doubt we would miss any of it!  I have to admit the house looks better already!  Less IS more!

The truck was a bigger hit than we could have ever imagined. We decided our kids don't need a trip to Disney -- we are just going to periodically rent a truck and take turns riding around town!  Lots less expensive.

Here we are at the storage shed getting ready to unload. The girls are great helpers and very eager. It seems the younger you are the more exciting moving is...guess I am really old!

Our "stuff".  As you can see we have moved a ton of junk.

We did take time during all the excitement of boxing and lugging junk to enjoy Easter!  The girls had a great time finding eggs in all the boxes and disarray that we now call "home".  

Hope you had a Blessed and restful Easter!
HE HAS RISEN!  HE HAS RISEN INDEED!

changes to the house....

< The lovely BLUE countertop I have hated for years......

This is better already!!

I won't bore you with the whole saga regarding the countertop and it's installation --let's just say they had to bring three different counters before it worked.

How do you like the color samples by the stove??

                                                                                                                       

TADA!!  Do you like it?  The walls are now painted a lovely camel color.  The far back wall is a warm chocolate.  I just love it.

Loss and memories

This is the hardest blog I have to write, but I feel like I need to write it; to get it down, to keep all the memories.  In my first three pregnancies I didn't journal very much and so many memories have vanished from me; when did I first feel movement; what was the food cravings for each; heart rates?  Little memories.  But this time, I have so little to remember -- I can't lose any of it so I have to write regardless of how hard.

We discovered this pregnancy on January 27th 2009.  Grace heard me laugh in the bathroom and came to discover what was going on.  I told her nothing was happening, I just needed to call Dad.  She kept following me and asking, begging me to tell her what was so funny.  I just looked at her and asked her to guess.  She guessed that I was pregnant and she was right.  I just smiled at her.  She let out a shriek of delight that I think every Mom would like to release when they see that "positive" sign.  She immediately ran to wake her little sisters and then all three of them were whooping and hollering and praising God and rubbing my tummy!  Grace got to the phone first and called Francis.  The three of them were all trying to talk at once and they were so excited none of them could speak coherently.  I just sat back and watched them rejoicing.  It took Francis awhile to get the information and then he was just a little stunned.  How could this happen when we have only weekends together?  Hmmm.  God is good, and His timing is perfect, and He blessed us with yet another tiny person to watch over.

On Wednesday, we went for the official blood work to be done.  The girls were beside themselves with joy and told EVERY person they could.  I had to restrain them to telling ONLY people who knew us.  Lydia woke the baby by singing "Rise and Shine" every morning and would come and kiss the baby-spot every couple of hours.  Ruth would just beam and hug my tummy every so often.  There was no doubt this child would be loved extravagantly.  After the blood work was finished we went to the library so Lydia could check out baby books.  She wanted to know how this baby was growing, where it was growing, and how it was going to get out.  She wanted books she could read to the baby while it was growing and she wanted books to read to the baby after it was here.  She was very eager to be a BIG sister.

I was at this point feeling very pregnant.  All the usual stuff, nausea, heightened smell, so tired I thought I wouldn't make it to dinner time.  I was also feeling pretty crampy.  Something I worried about, but wrote off to having caught the pregnancy pretty early.  On Tuesday the following week we got a call from the doctor.  The blood work had come in with very low HcG numbers, so low they were worried that the pregnancy might not be viable.  MIGHT NOT BE VIABLE.  Those are words no mom wants to ever hear.  We were sitting in the parking lot of Lowe's when I took that call.  Francis calmed me down, and I sent out a few calls for extra prayer.  We needed to go in the next day for another blood draw.  The HcG numbers needed to double every 24 hours.  We waited and we prayed.   The girls and I talked about how sometimes babies don't always get born; sometimes God takes them to heaven right away.  The response I got was "why?".  Why would God let a baby start to grow and then take her right back to heaven?  I didn't have an answer.

The blood work came back better.  The numbers were doubling like they should; they were still low, but they were doubling.  I still needed to take one more test to be certain.  We were set to test again the following Monday.  We felt so much better.  God heard our cry for this baby and He answered.  We all breathed a sigh of relief.  I still worried about the cramps.

Monday came and the HcG levels continued to climb.  The doctor was happy.  No more blood work.  They would see me at my normal 12 week check.  But the cramps; just mild not anything severe.  Maybe I was just old, maybe this was just because this was my fourth pregnancy, maybe I was crampy with the other three and I just didn't remember...I still felt pregnant.  I let that reassure me.  But something (the Holy Spirit?) kept nagging me.  I kept talking to the girls about babies that don't always get to come home to be with the family, babies that go home to be with God.  In retrospect, God was cushioning me, preparing me and my family for the final stage; for the loss of our baby.

I miscarried on February 23, 2009.  I carried our baby for just over seven weeks.  Again, God had everything arranged to carry us through.  The girls were supposed to go to the doctor for a routine check-up the 22nd.  As we were leaving, I noticed quite a bit of blood.  The nurse squeezed me into the girls' appointment and the doctor sent me straight to the hospital for an ultrasound.  A dear friend meet me at the hospital to watch the girls.  I sat in the waiting room wondering how long I had before my life changed.  I remember watching the clock, I remember seeing attendants come to the waiting room and begging God that they would not call my name, just so I could have this baby for a little longer; just so I didn't have to hear what I knew.  I tried to beg God, then I just asked Him to carry me.  Carry me down the hallway to the ultrasound room.

I saw our baby.  One little glimpse.  One little glimpse to last a life time.  They say it was a blighted ovum; that there really wasn't a baby just a growth that tried to trick my body.  "It is not your fault" the technician kept saying.  I knew.  

The girls came back to the room and I told them about our baby.  I told them that our baby went to heaven to be with Jesus.  I was so afraid to tell them.  They had been so excited.  I felt like I was letting them down; like I had failed them in some way.  But they were wonderful.  They fell on me with hugs and kisses and told me they loved me and that it would be okay.  God would love our baby and we could see her when we went to see Jesus.  God was carrying us.

Lydia stopped at the fountain in the lobby to throw some coins.  After she threw her coins she dipped her little hand in and came to me, looked up into my eyes and said we needed to baptize our baby.  She took her little wet hand and made the sign of the cross on my tummy and baptized our baby, then she reached up and reminded me of my baptism by making the sign of the cross on my forehead.  God was so present at that moment.  

I am not sure of the ride home.  I just know that shortly after we got home the cramping started in earnest and I lost our baby the next day.  The physical pain is over, but the hole that remains.... 

I don't want to forget.  I don't want to lose the memory of carrying this little person.  My whole body aches with loss, but God continues to carry me.  I can laugh with the girls, our life continues and it is a good and full life.  I know that God will take all this pain and use it for good.  I am waiting for the good.  I know it is coming.  I know that He will carry me to that place.  In the meantime, I wait.

A little catch up...

It has been awhile. Things here have definitely been busy! The house update is coming right along. We have begun painting after a million swatches have been tried out on the walls. It appears that paint is very much like a chameleon; what looks fine in one area looks horrible somewhere else. We are trying to neutralize the house so we need very basic colors...like tan; NOT yellowish tan, greenish tan, reddish tan or brownish tan...just TAN. Who knew there were so many shades of TAN. In the end I believe we were successful, of course the new owner will probably hate it and paint within a week of closing on the house. New countertops and are on their way as is new carpet. A wonderful friend has been helping us install new light fixtures too. The house is really starting to look different. The plan is to have the update complete and the house on the market by April. It will be a close call. Then we need to pray for a quick sale as we want to be out by mid June.

The girls are very patient with all the shopping that has to be done. Generally, I don't like to shop with three monkeys; it is just to hard to think and they want to interject their thoughts and opinions. THIS time though, they have been very very good. They take books with them and sit quietly in whatever aisle of Home Depot/Ar-Jarys/Sears I happen to be in. Again, it is a reminder that God is good and is in charge. How else could there be this miraculous change in my babies??

On a slightly different shopping note: Lydia and I were alone grocery shopping yesterday and she serenaded me (quite loudly I might add) to Baby Beluga all through Target. After a little bit, I noticed she was also peering behind all the shelves whenever there was an opening. I asked her what was up and she replied she was looking for Baby Beluga. I played along with her looking wherever we could for little lost beluga. It was to much fun. In the check out, she informed me that Baby Beluga must be in the ocean and NOT in Target. Well, thank goodness. I have been singing "Baby Beluga in the deep blue sea, swim so wild and swim so free...." all day!

Francis continues to come home each weekend from Florida. We pick him up pretty late on Friday and return him very early on Monday morning. In the past he had to return on Sunday afternoons. Thankfully his boss agreed to let him come back on Mondays. It is amazing how much longer that makes his stay with us feel. It is, however, a VERY short amount of time to rest, spend time with his family, and get work done around the house. We are all longing for the day that this is over and we are reunited.

The final bit of update is the most exciting for our family. On January 27th, we discovered that we have been Blessed by God with another child. The girls immediately likened me to 'Elizabeth, who conceived in her old age'. Isn't that nice?!! huh. In any case when the girls found out it took me over an hour to calm them down and since then they have been telling everyone and I do mean EVERYONE. I have had to talk to them about telling total strangers. Lydia wakes the baby up each morning, by singing to my tummy the Rise and Shine song, and then she tucks me in each night (yes, I do go to bed at the same time as the girls). Everyone of them rubs my tummy a thousand times a day; I doubt this baby will lack for love. So, as of now, we are about 7 weeks pregnant and baby is about 1/4" long (I have to look this data up every couple of days for Grace to check on "our status").

In my Advanced Maternal Age (AMA -- who knew they even had a term for it??) I am a little more nervous. In the first couple of weeks we thought I was going to miscarry. My Hcg numbers were very low and I had lots of cramping, so we did a series of blood tests to be certain the Hcg was doubling every couple of days. It did -- Praise Jesus. But with my age can come many complications. I am trying to just enjoy this pregnancy and to trust in the Lord for His will. But it is hard to put my worries at the foot of the cross. My first check is still a month away and I can't wait to hear a little whoosh-whoosh! In the meantime I am enjoying the usual early pregnancy symptoms - a sign, my girls always remind me, that all is well.

Again I have to end this with a simple but hard to follow mantra:  Trust in God, trust in God, trust in God.....

It's been awhile...

WOW. Haven't been here in awhile, and yet there isn't a whole lot to report.

The BEST news, and probably the biggest reason I haven't been writing, is that Francis was at home for THREE WEEKS! General Dynamics gave us a super Christmas present. They let Francis work from home the week and half before Christmas shut down. So with that time, plus the shut down time, we had him with us for half of December. He went back on Jan. 4th.

During that time we took a trip to Chicago.  One of the stops was the American Girl store for some shopping (yikes!) and to enjoy dinner in the cafe.  If you have girls that are into AG then this is a GREAT event.  Our girls were totally in awe.  The store is beautiful and there are girls EVERYWHERE.  It is doll heaven.  We visited the bathroom, "MOM, this place is SO beautiful.  Could we live here?"  Sheesh.  I didn't take pictures of the bathrooms, but here we are in the cafe.

We did lots of other silly things.

































And just enjoyed Christmas and having Daddy home.